You are the Creator of Your Own Reality

How the pandemic made me reflect upon my way of living.

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

After my college, I had been working in a high paying software job for 4 years but was extremely unhappy. (And did not even realise it till I was forced to be alone with my thoughts 24*7.) My first couple of years as a new working professional was fun. I was earning for the first time, was working on things I enjoyed and had lots of friends in the city who loved to party. And so slowly my daily life started revolving around partying or working with no time for anything else.

My life came to a sudden stop with the onset of the pandemic. As the voices inside my head started growing, I tried pushing them down again with increasing house parties. Instead this led to my feeling suffocated in my own house. I knew I needed time off and listened to those voices.

Here’s a summary of how I am trying to go back to my roots and find my happiness again. :D

Living my Life Consciously

While trying to understand what the voices were telling me, I turned to life coaches and found my solace in Gaur Gopal Das and Sadhguru. The common theme that came across was

Life is not a game of chance. Life is an accumulation of all your conscious and subconscious thoughts and actions. You are the designer of your own life. You become what you think, what you speak, how you act.

I started making a conscious effort to live my life with love and kindness and trying to find magic and gratitude in the small of things. Life happens in unpredictable ways and with any amount of planning we could have done, we sometimes feel helpless. But changing our perspective on how we see life and how we react can affect how we lead our life.

Never Letting go of you Dreams

While trying to live my day one day at a time, trying to maximise the “fun”, I had let go of what made me actually happy. I had forgotten the dreams I had come to the city with, letting the city drown me. This left me unhappy and unsatisfied with myself at the end of the day, even though my day had been filled with high adrenaline activities.

With the pandemic bringing a lot more free time in my hand, I slowly started going back to doing things that made me genuinely happy. I started with the little things, going back to my hobbies, taking dance lessons, going back to drawing, going back to reading books instead of binge watching Netflix. I also invested in my higher education and started my Masters. And this has been the happiest I have felt in a long time.

Giving Time to People who Genuinely Care

I have to admit, I spend a lot of time with people I could party with(and be happy with in the moment) or prioritise my work, while missed calls from parents and old friends was common. But during my lowest phase, it was only these people who gave me time and listened tirelessly to my issues, never once judging me.

Now, I make it a point to never miss a call from them and try my best to let them know that I love them and I am thankful for their love.

Decluttering My Life

I started my day with whatsapp and instagram spending close to 4 hours of my day on it. Other than day, my day consisted of working, watching Netflix during any little down-time, going out and completing any tasks I had like filing my taxes.

I started to organise my day. I started spending the first few mins of the day thinking about how I wanted to spend my day. I slowed down and took time off to listen to old Bollywood songs, dance a bit and talk to my parents.

I started maintaining a todo list which I checked every morning and every night before dinner. This reduced my procrastination, giving me time to do more.

As my days became more planned, I started getting more things done while having time to slow down and enjoy the little things!

To Conclude

Our life is the result of our Karma, our Actions. We need to design it in a way that optimises our happiness. When we stop shifting the blame of things happening in our life to others or to circumstances or putting it off with “This is just how I am” and start taking responsibility is when we truly start LIVING.

Hi, I am Ankita. I write about Machine Learning and how I try to navigate the puzzle called life!